That One Time
by rosie5851
Summary: When that night that with Fenris is brought up, it leads to some unexpected details.


It's been three years since that night with Fenris. Ever since things have been awkward between him and I. We never talk, interact, or even adventure together anymore. All Fenris does is keep his broody self locked up in that mansion of his. Maker knows what he does all cooped up in that room. This was the first time in 3 years I've taken Fenris with me, but just to bring Varric home to the Hanged Man. I didn't think I could walk back to high town with all the slavers about the streets after hours. "Bye Varric, see you soon!", I yelled as Varric stumbled into the bar only to pass out in his room upstairs. Fenris and I were walking back when I heard him making out words." Hawke, that night, when we were...together... hasn't never been brought up." "I never thought you wanted it to be brought up." "It's just...UGH!" He urged for me to stop." I love you Hawke!" He yelled. I gasped, now knowing his true feelings for me. His face was flushed and he was blushing a deep red. We stared at each other with the moonlight shining threw the pillars of hightown. He was so close, his deep olive eyes were intense. I leaned in closed planting a small, light kiss on his lips. We tried keeping our love a secret, but when Fenris's eyes opened wide I knew something was wrong. I turned around only to see the biggest gossip in lowtown, Isabela. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You two!", yelled the busty pirate," out of everyone you're with the broody elf, Ooooooo this is going to be a great story to tell Varric." I rushed to Isabela as she was turning around and I sternly told her to never, EVER tell anyone. She gave a smirk and turned around. "Ok!", she said happily, without a care in the world. I knew I was going to have to deal with the consequences of Isabela knowing about my "dirty little secret". I was gullible enough to believe her and she skipped off, as if nothing happened. Fenris came up behind me with his armor cold against my bare arms and he pulled me in for a warm embrace. He whispered in my ear 4 simple words," You know she's lying?" " Yes I know, but at least she thinks I don't know." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fenris had walked himself home once we reached my estate. I entered and was then greeted by Bodahn. I dragged myself up the stairs and shut my room's door. I was undressing when Bodahn yelled from downstairs," Messere Hawke, Sir Fenris is here!" (Why is he here?) "Let him upstairs!" I yelled in response. I expected his slow walk to take him a while, just long enough to get on my robe. But surprisingly I was wrong. He opened the door and his eyes widened just as fast as his hands covered them. "I...I am sorry,Hawke, I...I'll just wait out...there." He rushed out. My cheeks were blushing. When I was just in my smalls, I opened the door, took his hand, ad closed it, just in one fell swoop. ~~(rated M for a reason)~~ She pulled him in and they lied near the bed. "You will never be rid of me, now. I fear for the moment when this is over, and you must go." His hands moved up to her thighs. "But I will be back," she said, "and again, as many times as you allow." "Then you shall be back continuously and eternally," Fenris swore, and reached over to pull her forward by her hips, lifting her with little effort and planting her firmly in his lap. She cursed at him then fell laughing, wrapping her arms around his neck. His own hands fell around her waist then pushed upwards under his shirt, running over the nakedness underneath. In response she swung her leg over his body, straddling him, and what was once hard became granite. She pulled back far enough to smile at him, that bright, amused grin that had disarmed men and women far more resistant to her charms than he, and with a husky growl he kissed her hard. Wiggling playfully Hawke kissed him back, reaching down to free him from his pants and guided him towards her wetness, lifting her hips then firmly sliding down until he was fully inside her. "Hawke..." he said her name desperately and with a touch of wonder. Maker, the pain, and then the wondrous pleasure - it was astounding. "Only with you," he whispered, "only in your flesh, your eyes..." He had wanted to elaborate on those emotions, reassure her, but his ability to speak was fleeting and he was quickly unable to think. His shirt tumbled open on her chest and he buried his face in her perfect breasts, hissing as the searing sensation of her fingernails on his back mingled with the beautiful yearning ache that infused everything. There were those images again, dancing through his brain, and they teased him with a past he couldn't hold onto. He welcomed them and let them go, letting the intangible emotions they evoked overtake his senses. She rode him and they came one after the other, laughing then gasping, her mouth buried in his hair. For a while there was nothing but the sound of their breathing, as Fenris couldn't speak at first, couldn't move as his body assimilated the pleasure and pain. Three years ago it was after that paralysis that he had panicked, recognizing instantly what it signified and being unable to accept it. Now he was prepared, and welcomed the understanding that being with Hawke and becoming her lover equaled a new, sublime form of bondage. "I am a slave anew," he said softly, and smiled into her shoulder. Her hands landed on the side of his face, and she pulled back to stare at him. "What did you say?" "Nothing." He then picked her up, ignored her yell of surprise, and carried her to the bed. He dropped her gently before falling in besides her. He found great pleasure in surprising Hawke - it was the least she deserved. She rolled over, and he pulled her close; she made a noise and buried her nose in his skin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next afternoon, Hawke had Fenris walk her to the hanged man to meet up with the rest of the group. They entered and just then Isabela whistled. "You too. Always together..." Hawke have her a look an scowled. Fenris grunted and they both sat down. "Hawke you frisky girl, why don't you tell everyone the fantastic news?" Hawke leaned over, took Isabela by the shirt, and growled in her ear, "Don't you dare." "Elf, bend her over a basin, will you!", Isabela blurted out. They both just blushed. Fenris stood up and left. "Fenris-", Hawke was cut off by slamming of the door. Everyone at the table gasped at the news. They all new. They all new what had been kept a secret. All thanks to Isabela. Fantastic. "Isabela, how could you?" Hawke yelled. She got up and left in tears, trying to catch up to a pissed off Fenris. ~~~~~~~~~~ She expected him to be drinking Antivan wine and throwing bottles against the wall in hi hightown mansion, but, sadly no. (Was he in her mansion?) We wasn't sitting in the hall, and Bodahn had no visitors to report to Hawke. Where could have he gone? The last place he could of gone was the docks, they place we met. She saw him. Sitting there drinking wine and smashing them on the ground. She sat by him and she could tell his eyes were puffy and red. "I can't." These were the only words he said. "Fenris I was worried-" "I can't love you. I-I mean I do love you. Just I can't deal with the pain of missing you everyday I wake up in the cold mansion, I can't deal with sleeping alone." I looked over towards him with watery eyes. "I just can't, Hawke. I have never met a more gorgeous, adventurous, loving person than you. And I would never want to lose you, but this is the only way." Hawke leaned in for a passionate kiss, knowing that it would be her last. Fenris accepted. They just layers there, under the stars at the docks, in each others arms, recalling memories. They fell asleep there, and the next morning, Fenris was gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hawke went into a depressed, panicked state. But the fact she knew why he was gone left her heart broken. She was torn. She could live. She sat in shock looking out towards the sea. She stood herself up and walked to the hanged man. She drank. And drank. And drank. All of her companions were worried about her. About her excessive drinking, about all her losses, Fenris, Carver, Bethany, and her Mother. She drank herself until she was drunk every night and rented a room in the hanged man then every morning she cried in her bed until Bodahn checked on her. This went on for 3 more years. Depression, panic attacks, and drunken nights. Then the day came. The day came when Fenris walked right through the doors of the hanged man. He Sat himself down and drank. And drank. And drank. He hasn't seen Hawke in 3 years. They made love, they made memories, they had a spark that ignited a flame that they both put out with alcohol. Isabela was walking down the stairs when she spotted Fenris. Beaten down, broken hearted, Fenris. She stomped towards him, pulled him out of his chair, and slapped him as hard as he could, right across the face. "How could you!? You heartless bastard. Maker! Do you know what you've done to that woman!" Isabela yelled. Fenris growled,"Where. Is. She?" "I'm not letting you around her! Now leave! She deserves better than you!" "I know..." Fenris mumbled. "She des- What?" " I know I broke her heart. I know what I did was wrong. The pain of knowing what she went through is enough of punishment for me. I did love her. I can't bear to hurt her anymore." Fenris started to walk away. "No- she's...she's at Ander's clinic. Go to her." "Thank you." Fenris yelled, running as fast as he could. He walked up the stairs and gasped in jealousy as he stood in the doorway. He saw Hawke pecking a light kiss on the man he hates the most, Anders. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He stomped closer to the couple. His lyrium scars glowing a bright blue. He then grabbed Anders' shoulder, turned him around, and broke his nose. Anders wiped the blood from his face. He looked up and saw a jealous Fenris. Hawke looked in 'aw'. "Fenris!"


End file.
